So much has happened these past months. Even after you've realized that internal struggle is the most important and keeping thoughts and feelings in check is utmost, you falter. Stumble.

My anger towards my office colleagues reached unmanageable proportions to the extent that I was seething within. Every time I reminded myself that its their world, its 'their' life, there was a sense of space between my wrathful thoughts and 'me'. The key I think is to increase that space. A very very important lesson learnt was not to have any 'role' models. Not to look  up to someone too much. Admire from a distance , nod, smile, move on. Take what is relevant. Not adhering to this landed me in big trouble.

My great granny passed away a couple of days ago. 24th night to be precise.The most remarkable thing about my granny was her mental agility at that age.Her memory, her presence of mind, her wit.She'll be greatly missed.

I HATE sad faces. I hate sadness.Maybe coz, I was  in that state for some time recently. 

I like mischieveous faces.Faces with twinkling eyes.

I like being happy. Sickeningly happy. If you are asking who wouldnt, well, you wouldnt ask this question if you have observed people long enough.Hmm. 

I like children. Children that play around, especially. 

I believe in Magic. Magic of a smile. Miracle of an understanding gesture. I love dreaming. Dreaming big and therefore end up not doing my work at present.:P (My bad!)

I know nothing matters and its all a big game. But I keep forgetting this and have to constantly remind myself.

I fear hurting people. I have done it , still do it but hate myself later for it.

I know "THIS IS IT" and there's no other. But I keep forgetting and blah blah blah.

I loved someone deeply. Still do, will do. But I recognize the need to realize I can't have a relationship with him and therefore have to move on.Its taking time, but I will move on. (Hey! Remember I don t like sad faces... not gonna put up one u see)

I am supposed to be working on an Approval drawing now. My friend, Partha's house, to be precise.But you know what I am doing. 

I like my friends. Hmm.. Love them. I am scared of 'losing' them.You know what I mean. I may not be in touch with them all. But I have their best interests at heart.

I am intrigued with people I don't like. Why don t I like them? What is it in me that prevents me from liking them? No answer. Its a process. Its the question that matters and one's relationship with that question.Else, it is as it is.

I like to call myself a Warrior. Arrey.. chumma rey. Sounds good. 

I hate it when people dispense with advice. When they believe it is their mandate to do so. 

I have a deep inferiority complex that I am dumb. That I am unintelligent. So far its not left me and so I 'll learn to live with the complex and my dumb self!

I am liking creating this blog. 

I used to have deep reverence for life in general. I have to re-learn it.

I act as an arrogant rat and I hate it later.

I have an effective communication issue.

I seem to have very poor memory these days.

I am a process in the making just as you.